Romeo and Juliet: Their horrible parental relationships

In "Romeo & Juliet," by William Shakespeare, the title characters rebel against the adults in their lives, particularly, their parents. They do not place much trust in others save for each other, and each only has one adult in their life who is aware of their relationship – Friar Lawrence or the Nurse, respectively. The nurse isn’t even aware of some things half the time. Meanwhile, the parents have absolutely no idea what is going on their children’s lives – partly because they do not really care to ask. Maybe if both sets of parents have been less neglectful, none of this would have happened. Throughout the play, Shakespeare portrays authority as being hypocritical and distant, implying that if adults do not take the time to gain their children’s trust and respect, they’ll lose faith in them and maybe even rebel.

In "Romeo and Juliet", authority is constantly portrayed as untrustworthy (and the parents are Romeo and Juliet’s major authority figures). The Capulet family is obviously unhappy with each other. Lady Capulet is slightly bitter and unaccepting of her situation. She wants her daughter to have the same life as her; perhaps because she’s trying to convince herself that she’s happy and her daughter surely will be too. Lord Capulet is harsh and hasty and very politically correct. He prevents Tybalt from fighting in his public party, but acts almost violently towards Juliet when she refuses to marry Paris. "Fettle your fine joints 'gainst Thursday next to go with Paris to Saint Peter's Church or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither." (3.5.158). His conflicting actions are because does not believe in public fighting but he thinks that his daughter must always obey him, as society states. This is rather awful and hypocritical of him; how is she supposed to respect him enough to obey him when he is cruel to her because of her position in society? Or is she just meant to obey him mindlessly, like a robot? The Montague family, on the other hand, hardly speak to Romeo – when they’re worried about him they send Benvolio, his cousin, instead. They lack the means and/or inclination to talk to him themselves. Montague says " I would thou wert so happy by thy stay. To hear true shrift--come, madam, let's away." (1.1.169). Both sets of parents are woefully ignorant about what currently happens in their children’s lives.

This ignorance is really a whole lot of the trouble. Romeo and Juliet lie to and deceive their parents, leading to their ignorance. So really, it isn’t just the parents being neglectful in the relationship, its Romeo and Juliet as well. Sometimes their parents are just trying to be good but get fed up when their kids aren’t receptive – take Lord Capulet’s attempted marriage of Paris to Juliet. He wants to marry her off to cheer her up, despite the fact he’d said he wanted to wait some years (being hypocritical, tsk!) because he believed she was depressed and mourning for Tybalt. Earlier, he'd told Paris to woo her, because "my will to her consent is but a part." (2.1.17). Later however, he forces her into it. This further disturbs their mutual trust and love, and all because apulet is ignorant. Obviously, there would have been many things he’d have done if he was better informed (and aware of her marriage to Romeo) but try to cheer her up by marrying her to someone else is not one of them. If he’d known, they may not have ended up dead, because Juliet wouldn’t have been engaged to Paris, and therefore wouldn’t have felt the need to fake her death. None of it would have happened (unless of course, you believe in fate, but that’s a whole different coconut.)

Because of this mutual deception and negligence, there is a visible lack of trust between the two and their parents-- they may doubt that their pparents will go along with their own wishes rather than society and politics (rightfully, I think.) They are afraid of betrayal. When Juliet is despairing over Romeo's banishment, her mother asks after her condition, and she says "yet let me weep for feeling such a loss." (3.5.77). This is very deceptive, because it really means the loss of Romeo, when Lady Capulet believes they're talking about Tybalt. In the same conversation, Juliet tells her mother "Madam, I am not well." (3.5.70). She is well, but trying to cover up the fact that moments ago, Romeo had been in her bed. She goes to such efforts to hide these things from her parents because she is certain they will betray her. The lack of trust in the relationship is evident even since the very first scene. Juliet confides in her nurse, and Romeo in his priest – things must be pretty dreadful between you and your parents if you're confiding in others before them. This lack of trust also leads to Romeo and Juliet not particularly caring for their parents' love and support of their wedding. Gentle and mild Juliet even proposes herself! "If that thy bent of love be true, thu purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow.." (2.2.149).

Conclusively, I would say that Romeo and Juliet have pretty awful relationships with their parents, due to lack of effort and trust, and this may have driven them to seek so much love and approval from other parties – namely each other. If Romeo and Juliet had their parents’ unwavering support and approval, they would never have gotten together (even if by the idea that they would have, in this case, been aware of the affair and stopped it.) So I suppose it is meant to be that Romeo and Juliet had such awful relationships with their parents. If they really trusted each other, ultimately the feud would never have been settled.